To All My Facebook Friends and Fans….

Just posted this tonight on my Facebook page after getting one too many invites/tags/pokes (superpokes, no less). If you have a Facebook page, you might just relate.

(Note: some of these are true–can you guess which ones?)

10 Pointless Facts About Me

It’s finally happened–you’ve been tagged, probably from some Facebook friend who picked you because they didn’t want to piss off their real friends. Now you’re stuck with a task that’s more annoying than trying to shoo Amy Winehouse away from a tepid beer sitting by your elbow.

At this point I’m supposed to say you need to list 10 facts, habits or goals you may have. Personally, you can list anything you damn well please, just as long as you don’t disillusion me. But then again, I have very low expectations of my friends, not to mention the attention span of a distracted jack terrier.

To post your unhealthy self-obsessions, go to “notes” under tabs (or the + sign) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 10 pointless facts. If you feel like tagging people, go for it– after all, would you even notice that ten people de-friended you?

  1. I spent my entire eighth-grade year waiting for my right arm to spontaneously combust.
  2. I do a mean imitation of a Windex bottle.
  3. My library books are always overdue.
  4. Everything I knit ultimately turns into a mobius strip. Even sweaters.
  5. Every time I see a cow on a car trip, I psychically moo at it and hope it looks up.
  6. I have double-jointed knuckles, which scares little children.
  7. I have pictures of Mario Lanza taped under my office phone.
  8. Netherlands, Denmark, Holland–what’s the difference?
  9. I eat sardines in mustard because I’m convinced god hates me.
  10. I’m afraid of cows because one did look up when I mooed at it.