Running Through My Head*

….some random thoughts:

Automobiles:

  • Spoilers on cars are the automotive equivalent of the ankle bracelet.
  • Jacked-up trucks: let’s just say the bigger (and higher) the truck, the smaller and squeakier the guy. If they keep it up, them boys are gonna have to start wearin’ big, white, four-fingered gloves.
  • The more tattered American flags/stickers on a car, the more bone-headed stunts they will pull right in front of you.
  • The Chrysler PT Cruiser: the grandma car of the new millennium.
  • The louder and more thug-like the hip-hop music is coming down the street, the more likely it’s coming from a very white high-school kid wearing a backwards baseball cap driving a brand-new Jetta.
  • The Mini Cooper: replacing the Mazda Miata as the balding, mid-life crisis car
  • The more paper/magazines/video tapes in the car, the higher the probability it’s owned by a librarian. Cat carrier included? Cataloger. Multiple cat carriers? Serials cataloger. Hungry students squeezed between the piles on the backseat rummaging for day-old pizza? Head of Circulation.


Reference Desk:

  • If someone asks you for the name and address of a company CEO, that person thinks that company is conspiring to kill them.
  • The craziest questions are always asked by the nicest-dressed people.
  • The longer the story before the question, the more certain the question will be “where’s the bathroom?”
  • There is no such thing as an inverse snore/smell ratio when it comes to homeless patrons.
  • Lost items that brand new are never reclaimed. The rattiest, skankiest items, however, are always missed.
  • The lower the waistline on the low-rise jeans, the longer the cell phone conversation at the ref desk.
  • There is no such thing as an inverse snore/smell ratio when it comes to undergrad students camped out in your library.

Plain Ol’ Miscellaneous:


  • No one under 25 has what used to be considered a normal name (i.e, Mary, Elizabeth, Joe, etc.,). Now everyone is an Ashleigh, Zoe, Tyler, Cloe, Zachary….you get the idea. (Corollary: if someone does have a normal name, it’s usually spelled in a way I like to call unique–e.g., Amy spelled “Aimeee” or Carol as “Querole”. Rent LA Story for inevitable and sad outcome of this trend.
  • Ever notice how you misread certain words in a newspaper? For instance, who among our profession hasn’t misread the headline: “Liberians Overrun Capitol” as “Librarians Overrun Capitol”? And don’t get me started with any headline containing the word “penal”….

    BB (Bizarre Beauty) Tip of the Day: This tip comes from a Mrs. Jane A. Emmith, whereabouts unknown:

    Using the orange powdery material from ancient books bound with sheep leather to bronze your skin and give it that “I can afford a trip to the Bahama’s on my librarian salary” look.

    * To borrow from a cheesy yet inescapable song refrain….

4 Responses

  1. Sulkbrarian
    Sulkbrarian August 22, 2003 at 12:32 am | | Reply

    Giant papier-mache head of Harry Potter and tubes of glitter glue? Children’s Librarian.

    heehee ­čśŤ

  2. gl.
    gl. August 22, 2003 at 12:27 pm | | Reply

    prius? the partner of a librarian, because the librarian takes public transport. ­čÖé

    la story is one of my top-10 movies. nobody ever understands why, but that’s okay.

  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous August 22, 2003 at 3:04 pm | | Reply

    But I LOVE the PT Cruiser and I’m not even old enough to be a grandmother!

    Great LL-site, by the way.

  4. Original Cyn
    Original Cyn August 25, 2003 at 11:29 am | | Reply

    We ARE rather a sad lot, aren’t we? Though in my defense, I will say that my car is totally free of extraneous stuff. (Perhaps that’s a sub-type of catalogers?)

    In my experience, children’s librarians have the messiest cars–Sulky is right on target there. And the school librarians I know tend to hang their extra wooden jewelry around their mirrors. Sigh.

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