So you’ve read all those articles in People, Vanity Fair and Reference Quarterly about the fabulous lives Lipstick Librarians lead. Want to know if you have L.L. tendencies? Take the quiz below!
- Do you have an MLS or MLIS?
- My degree’s from Southeastern Mississippi Technical Institute and I haven’t touched a mascara wand since 1972. (0 pts.)
- My degree’s from Central Wisconsin State U. and I once thought of purchasing a pair of moderate high-heels at Macys during an ALA conference in New York. (2 pts. for women; 25 pts.for men)
- No degree, but I played a glamourous yet evil librarian for three episodes of All My Children (I died in a mysterious cataloguing accident!) (35 pts.)
- When you see the letters “DKNY” you think:
- How many cats do you have?
- 0 (30 pts.)
- 1 – 3 (10 pts.)
- 4 – 10 (1 pt.)
- Do you mean the ones at home AND the ones I feed within my designated U.S. census block? (Give it up now!)
- You fantasize about:
- Harrison Ford and you. (15 pts.)
- Michael Gorman and you. (20 pts.)
- Harrison Ford, Michael Gorman, select LITA members and you stuck in an elevator during an ALA mid-winter conference (100 pts.–you win automatically!!)
- I coordinate my clothing colors by:
- What WWD says will be hot for the upcoming season. (25 pts.)
- Whatever’s on sale at Target. (2 pts.)
- The covers of the National Union Catalog (pre-1956 volumes, of course). (-5 pts.)
- My idea of erotic literature is:
- The Diary of Anais Nin. (10 pts.)
- The newest bodice-ripper in our popular fiction collection. (5 pts.)
- AACR2,especially the section on corporate-added entries. (0.5 pts.)
- I prefer my earrings:
- Sleek, silver and subdued. (15 pts.)
- Very ethnic and very tasteful. (10 pts.)
- Long and dangly enough so that it smacks me in the middle of my nose when I whip my head from side to side. (1 pt.)
- If you could, what would you wear at the reference desk?
- Comfortable separates in cotton knit. (2 pts.)
- Sequins, but my library director won’t let me. (35 pts.)
- Discontinued journals, clear masking tape and scratched CD-ROMS, but my library director won’t let me. (16/100th pts.)
- My idea of spending leisure time is:
- Flying to Prague over the weekend with my lover Gianni to check out the latest gallery opening of my favorite ex-patriate Japanese designer. (10 pts.)
- Seeing yet another independently-made film about a smart woman making a bad choice about career/men/food. (5 pts.)
- Making sure the bar codes in the books in my collection area are placed in a way to ensure efficient wanding. (2 pts.)
100 – 75pts:
Congratulations! You’re a high-flyin’, rouge-smearin’ Lipstick Librarian! You spend countless hours trying to find Post-Its in aubergene and sage. We know you’ve got a little shrine to RuPaul somewhere back in your cubicle. In short: you go girl!!
50 – 74 pts:
Let’s face the facts: you have definite Lipstick Librarian tendencies. You’re probably the kind of person who spends their annual serials budget on Marie Claire and Interview Magazine and you’re a one-person library for hydrologic engineering firm. You’re also the kind of person whereby the word “access” conjures up images of a kind of minimalist Banana-Republic knockoff boutique rather than a service orientation. The cure? Give in and go buy those Vivienne Westwood wedgies and Donna Karan body stocking you’ve been dreaming about!
25 – 49 pts:
By now you’ve realized that upstairs there’s a lonely fashion synapse firing hopelessly in the dark. You *want* to be a Lipstick Librarian, you *need* to be a Lipstick Librarian, but somehow you always wind up in the murky back aisles of K-Mart amongst those granny sweatshirts and ammo supplies. Your idea of sexy shoeware is Birkenstocks with a sling on the back. An erotic evening for you would be trying to wash 10 of your long-haired cats while listening to NPR. Take comfort in knowing you’re not alone–after all, you are a librarian…
1 – 24 pts:
*Sigh*…let’s be blunt, shall we? You’re probably reading this right now over a mound of pathfinders from the 1960s you’ve saved in case of a bibliographic instruction emergency, or (if you’re a cataloger) while you’re building a catalog database of your canned goods. (“does the can shape count as an access point?”) The closest you’ve come to make-up are the perfume samples you rip out of magazines ’cause you have a chemical sensitivity to everything except that strange gritty soap in the ladies room. You must learn to live with your fashion-impaired state–afterall, can you really see yourself standing at the reference desk in a vinyl jumpsuit and 6-inch platforms?