I try to be patient, to understand the fact this is a condition beyond his control. Looking at the DSM-IV, it appears that he meets four of the five criteria for being a buzz kill. But despite his so-called powerlessness in fighting this condition, there’s no disputing the fact that he’s evil.
Still not convinced? What would you call someone who says things like
“Don’t squirt lighter fluid on those hot coals.”
“I think the bride and groom are the ones who’re supposed to cut the cake first.”
“Go ahead and try putting a bandana on that raccoon, but don’t be surprised if you wind up in the emergency room. Again.”
“I don’t think the ability to shove an entire plate of deep-fried calamari into your mouth really proves anything.” and
But the yellow cake of his diabolical nature?
The Scene: two nights ago, bedtime at our house
Me: wearing pigtails and coming to bed (it’s a long story…)
Husband: reading in said bed
Me: “Do I look like a demented Pippi Longstocking?”
Husband: (long pause) “Yes.” (looks back at book)
Pray for me.