Is My Life Still That Interesting?

Still think the life of the LL is all glamour and access services? Check out the latest installment:

  • 10:00 am: Woke up to a call from Angelina on my BlackBerry. Seems the poor thing wants to adopt yet another starving-yet-winsome orphan from a vaguely disaster-prone country but can’t tell which has the lowest income per capita. I remind her that she could easily look it up in the World Bank’s World Development Indicators. She thanks me profusely while at the same time screams at Brad to stop Maddox from driving his custom-made, mini-Hummer into the pool again.
  • 10:02 am: Seems that my latest personal assistant/body guard, Sergei “50 Rubles” Petrov, is having a bad day, the dear. Instead of fetching the latest edition of the Concise AACR2, he hands me a latte laced with potato vodka and a linty Tic-Tac. I must remember to buy him a gold-lamé hoodie and teach him some new gang signs, preferably ones that don’t attract the attention of the state police.
  • 11:30: Dr. Phil dropped by, bringing along his newest patient, a library tech traumatized in a horrific book cart accident. After seconds of tearful hugging along with heart-tugging images of book cart drill teams from ALAs past, the healing begins.
  • 1:00: Arrive at the Vanity Fair photo shoot. Apparently the editor has decided to commemorate our profession’s battle for the freedom to read by having me pose nude using sections of the Patriot Act to cover selected body parts. Unfortunately the wind machine was set a little too high–we were forced to substitute with back issues of Computers in Libraries instead.

To be continued…..

Confession of the Week: My husband recently admitted to me that he wants to be pimpin’ all over the world. I reply that between gas prices and the fact that he rarely stays up past 9:00 pm means his his chances of achieving this goal are pretty slim….