Hipsta Gangsta Librarian

And just how does your average, dimly-aware-of-the-pop-culture-zeitgeist librarian use the previously blogged about music genre to her/his advantage? A few handy tips:

Nod Nod Revolution: The winner is the one who manages the most imperceptible head nodding while listening to Okkervil River. Team prize goes to the group who can exchange knowing smiles at the most obscure allusion to the Johnstown Flood.

Teach twentysometings to create acerbic t-shirts featuring quasi-cuddly characters with fang-like teeth using potato stamps and fabric dye mixed with leftover IPA from the local organic brewfest.

Convince a dewy young thing who sings in a cockney accent to write a song about a YA librarian falling in love with a stuttering Egyptologist with double-jointed thumbs. Try to get her to work in a shout-out to your homework guides when she’s awarded the SXSW People’s Choice Award.

Have a group of girls knit knockoffs of the hottest leg warmers on American Apparel (NOTE: Must be 18 or older to attend crafting session)

Hawk bibliographies on the Synoptic Gospels outside an Iron & Wine show. Avoid getting beat up by angry ticket scalpers for harshing sales by insisting potential customers investigate the latest CD at their local library.

For the adult services librarian: hold a memoir-writing workshop for the parenting set. Read aloud one with the biggest potential to go viral at Starbucks. Be sure to serve sustainably-harvested coffee and lie-detector tests to prevent being served a subpoena when it’s revealed that the harrowing account of a welfare mom in a crack-addled neighborhood raising triplets who eventually attend Harvard was written by a hedge fund analyst from Dartmouth.

Librarians and Crime Continues Dept: Job Search Tips: when interviewing for as media specialist, remember to ask about combat pay.

What I’m Listening To Dept: Godspell, the movie soundtrack. Thanks to whatever deity inspired Turner Classic Movies to broadcast the movie yesterday, even though my co-workers weren’t impressed with my rendition of “Turn Back, O Man”. Must have been the feather boa and tube socks….

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