Don’t Cha!–The Final Refrain

The Day and Night tête-à-tête continues:

  • 5:38pm: Just got off the phone with Leslie. She gushed over my idea of opening restylane and juice spas as revenue generators. She wants to place them next to the chick lit section; I caution her against being too enthusiastic. We don’t want headlines screaming about librarians injecting yo-la-mango smoothies into unwitting patrons’ frown lines….
  • 7:30pm: Jessica dropped by fuming. I was just about to console her over the awkward juxtaposition of Nick and Johnny at the MTV awards, but apparently she’s upset at being upstaged by four emo kids and treadmills. She’s thinking of upping the ante by singing “A Public Affair” standing on a Bosu with a bevy of backup singers on pilates machines. I gently chide her for being derivative; she asks me what this has to do with her “heinie”. I then suggest she add a kick-line of male dancers doing choreographed weight-lifting moves to her act.
  • 11:15pm Daphne comes staggering in with her 35th cup of steaming lemon juice of the day and the latest copy of Library Journal. She sprays me with a citrusy spit-take as I shriek when reading the cover story: “The Annual Top Ten Librarian Hotties List!” It seems that those next-gen upstarts LibrarianinBlack and Library Bitch have bumped me off the list. I plot my revenge by sending them each a patchouli-infused fruitcake next Christmas. As for the perennial top hottie, Jessamyn? Let’s just say I hope she has fun trying to fit into a Lipstick Librarian thong three sizes too small….

Forever Fugees: ‘Ya gotta love Wyclef for his shoutout for libraries in Dave Chapelle’s Block Party. No learnin’, no life….

G’night Glenn Ford: Looks like classic Hollywood is slowly but surely fading away: Glenn Ford, an actor most of you probably have never seen on the big screen passed away Wednesday. Though known mostly for Blackboard Jungle or The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, he holds a special place in my heart for two movies: Teahouse of the August Moon and Cry for Happy, the only films that even came close to acknowledging my childhood, though the memory of Marlon Brando as an Okinawan villager still makes me slightly ill….

Leave a Reply