AlternaCurrents

There is one aspiration in my library career I’ve yet to achieve: a blurb in American Libraries‘ “Currents” column. Despite job changes, geographic moves and an embarrassing incident during a FRBR Interest Group meeting, I have yet to see my name splashed across the page in serif font next to an uncomfortably close photo crop of me.

To compensate for what I can only assume is an accidental oversight, I’ve come up with a smattering of “Currents” announcements I’d like to see:

  • Evelyne Johansen, Library Assistant 3 in Boulder (CO) is learning to deal with her lima bean issues.
  • After thirty years of service as serials cataloger, Betty Jo Majors of Schenectady (NY) is irked by the handlebar moustache worn by that new library tech.
  • In July Nathan Shellenberger, digital initiatives librarian in San Antonio (TX) noticed a coffee stain in the shape of the OCLC logo on his favorite knit tie.
  • Jennifer Cuthbert, director of the learning commons for a community college in Fond du Lac (WI) has switched from low-fat mayonnaise to non-fat mayonnaise.
  • Neva Takata, government documents librarian in Arcadia (CA) presented on her Google mashup of census data and multiple litter-box ownership.
  • David Bragg retired as public services coordinator in Elko (NV) after being caught scrawling obscene bond initiatives in a branch restroom.
  • Kristen Alana Jennings, children’s librarian in Clearwater (FL) purchased her first pair of peep-toe heels.
  • In September distance education librarian Madeline Hotchkiss of Missoula (MT) taught her cat how to handle chat reference questions.
  • Georgiana Atkinson, head of technical services in Savannah (GA) premiered her art installation featuring a 3-D collage constructed of ALA vendor bags, stress balls and summer reading program t-shirts.
  • Jonathan Flores, collection development librarian from Minot (ND) was last seen at an OCLC regional meeting stuffing complimentary bagels into his best pair of Dockers and running out the emergency exit. He is considered to have gone rogue.
  • February 24 Peggy Luann Wells of Tumwater (WA) was asked by her fellow subject librarians to stop posting nasty reviews about them on ratemyprofessors.com.
  • Shoshana Pierpont, monographic cataloger in Lafayette (LA) is on extended medical leave due to her insistence on populating local subject entry fields with RSS feeds from Cute Overload.
  • In December Theodore Burroughs, county archivist in Fairfax (VA) purchased his first pair of peep-toe heels.

Tootin’ My Own Horn Dept: For those of you not yet fed up with my shameless self-promotion, check-out my article on the ascendancy of the hipster librarian stereotype in Counterpunch.

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good tweet.